How to build Self Esteem of your children?

Dear Parents and Educators,

Have you ever considered the impact you might have on your child’s emotional well-being and self-esteem? As parents and educators, our shared aspiration is to witness our children evolve into happy, responsible, and confident adults. However, the question arises: How do we guide them on this path? Is it through constant academic pressure, equating low scores to a bleak future, or comparing them relentlessly with their peers? Is it by judging them solely based on their academic achievements, overlooking the development of values and other essential skill sets?

To better connect with our children and nurture their self-esteem, dear parents and educators, it’s essential to acknowledge the following realities.

The Changing Times & Context

Recognizing the fast changing times and circumstances in which our children are growing up is crucial. Their reality is vastly different from ours, and our comprehension of their world may be limited. What proved effective in our time may not necessarily be applicable in theirs. It’s imperative to shift our perspective and understand the challenges they face, considering the pervasive competition and judgment that surrounds them.

In this digital age, where technology is an integral part of their daily lives, we find ourselves at a crossroads. Since prohibiting the use of digital devices is no longer a feasible expectation, given the prevalence of technology in education and beyond,  our focus should evolve towards educating children on the responsible and constructive use of these digital tools.

Living in Hyper Inflated Balloons of Virtual World

In the current landscape, children find themselves immersed in hyper-inflated virtual worlds, primarily shaped by the dynamics of social media. The emphasis often shifts towards image and reputation, sometimes overshadowing the significance of genuine character strength. The number of likes and hits a child receives can significantly impact their sense of self-worth, contributing to the prevalent phenomenon of FOMO (fear of missing out).

Recognizing this virtual reality, it becomes imperative for parents to appreciate their intrinsic value beyond the digital facade is crucial.

Adapting our parenting approach to the changing context involves embracing a nuanced understanding of their experiences and challenges, fostering a more effective and supportive environment for our children.

What Can We Do?

Avoid Constantly Judging Children: Create the Environment to foster Self Esteem  

With changing norms, it’s crucial to break free from the traditional practice of evaluating children solely based on academic achievements. Rather than assessing them only by grades or marks, we should acknowledge and appreciate the human values they demonstrate, the skills they are developing, and their capacity to accomplish tasks to the best of their abilities.

Emphasizing sincere efforts over final outcomes is key. Continuously subjecting children to critical judgments from parents and teachers may stifle the development of their self-esteem. By fostering an environment that values effort, resilience, and the uniqueness of each child, we can create a healthier and more confident self-image.

Don’t Compare Children: Nurture Individuality for Healthy Self-Esteem

It is imperative to identify and appreciate the uniqueness of each child. Rather than habitually comparing them, let us fully grasp the depth of the phrase “we are all unique”. Every child is born with distinct qualities and talents. Imagining a world where everyone conforms to the same standard will make the world a dull and boring place.

Furthermore, it’s essential to acknowledge that children cannot be tailor-made to suit our individual likes and dislikes. They are products of various intricate factors beyond our comprehension. By accepting and celebrating these individual differences, we contribute to the cultivation of healthy self-esteem in children. Constant comparisons only serve to undermine their sense of self-worth, hindering their ability to appreciate and accept their unique attributes. Encouraging a mindset that values individual strengths and capabilities fosters a positive environment for the development of robust self-esteem.

Embrace and Celebrate Their Uniqueness: A Key to Building Self-Esteem

Empower yourself with evidence-based insights by delving into research, such as Howard Gardner’s Theory of Multiple Intelligences. This widely accepted theory emphasizes that individuals are inherently inclined to excel in various domains. Some may exhibit exceptional interpersonal skills, others musical talents, and some may excel in mathematical, linguistic, or scientific capacities. Understanding and acknowledging these diverse strengths is not a complex concept; it’s a fundamental truth.

By appreciating the inherent uniqueness of each child, we contribute to the foundation of robust self-esteem. Recognizing that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to skills and abilities allows us to foster an environment that encourages children to explore and celebrate their individual strengths. This promotes a positive self-image, encouraging children to realize their potentials and contribute meaningfully to the world around them.

Nurture Their Best: Empowering Children for Strong Self-Esteem

Familiarizing ourselves with the Theory of Multiple Intelligences highlights the importance of supporting children to thrive in their unique strengths. As parents and educators, our responsibility extends beyond fostering an environment that nurtures their innate talents. Instead of fixating on addressing weaknesses, our focus should be on amplifying and fortifying their areas of proficiency.

For instance, if a child excels in languages and social sciences but faces challenges in mathematics, the approach should be centered on enhancing linguistic and social skills while providing appropriate assistance in mathematics. This involves not only acknowledging their strengths but actively guiding them towards paths where these strengths can flourish. By tailoring support to their individual aptitudes, we contribute to the cultivation of a positive self-esteem. Encouraging a child to pursue a career aligned with their strengths not only capitalizes on their natural talents but also instils confidence and a sense of accomplishment.

Encourage Exploration Beyond Academics: A Path to Building Self-Esteem

It is imperative  to allow them go beyond academics and offer children a diverse range of opportunities to explore their interests and skills. This involves actively creating environments that allow children to discover and pursue their passions. Facilitating avenues for play, dance, music, arts and crafts, and sports is crucial in this regard.

The belief that academic prowess is the sole determinant of success is being continually challenged by the reality that many accomplished individuals did not necessarily top their academic institutions. Providing opportunities for non-academic pursuits not only allows children to uncover their latent talents but also fosters a sense of accomplishment and self-worth beyond the classroom. Engaging in a variety of activities helps them build a well-rounded identity and equips them with essential life skills such as teamwork, creativity, and resilience. By embracing a holistic approach to education that extends beyond academics, parents contribute significantly to the development of their children’s self-esteem, promoting a broader and more nuanced understanding of success.

Cultivate Trust in Your Children: A Cornerstone for Building Self-Esteem

Establishing trust with children is paramount for the development of a healthy self-esteem. Persistent distrust can erode their confidence over time. Instead of adopting a surveillance approach, engage in positive interactions to better understand them.

Building a trusting relationship involves refraining from constant scrutiny, recognizing that teenagers particularly dislike being subjected to undue suspicion. Demonstrating faith in their capabilities and genuinely appreciating their efforts fosters a sense of self-worth crucial for their overall growth. Trust provides a foundation for open communication, allowing children to share their experiences and challenges willingly. By adopting a trusting stance, parents not only strengthen their bond with their children but also contribute significantly to the development of their self-esteem, empowering them to navigate the complexities of adolescence with confidence and resilience.

Avoid Labeling Your Children: A Crucial Element in Fostering Self-Esteem

One of the most detrimental actions parents can take is to label or tag their children. Childhood is marked by various phases and stages, and labeling a child based on transient behaviors can have lasting negative effects. Labelling a child’s normal naughtiness as notoriety can inadvertently shape the child’s self-perception over time.

Understanding the concept of “self-fulfilling prophecy” is essential in this context. When parents consistently label their children with negative attributes, the children may internalize these labels and, in turn, exhibit behaviors that align with those expectations. To promote healthy self-esteem, it is crucial to avoid attaching negative labels and consciously choose positive affirmations. By labeling children positively, parents contribute to the development of a positive self-image, fostering confidence and encouraging the fulfillment of positive attributes over time. This approach creates an environment where children can thrive and develop a strong sense of self-worth.

Respectful Interaction with Children: A Foundation for Building Self-Esteem

Consistently treating your children with respect is essential for fostering a healthy sense of self-esteem. While children may not always be correct, they deserve respectful guidance and corrections delivered with understanding.

Criticism that makes children feel miserable is counterproductive in instilling the right values. As a mentor, coach, and guide, your role is to help them discover the right path through supportive interactions. Similar to how you would comfort a child after a physical fall, emotional setbacks also require a compassionate approach. Be a source of comfort and guidance when they make mistakes, acknowledging that nobody intentionally errs.

Respecting children builds a foundation of trust and communication. Children who experience respectful interactions are more likely to value themselves, develop a positive self-image, cultivate resilience, and approach challenges with confidence, ultimately contributing to the growth of a robust and healthy self-esteem.

Educating yourselves and evolving as per the changing times and context, you sure can better understand our children and support them be their best versions. Indeed, you have the power to shape their journey toward a positive and confident adulthood.

Choose to be at your best!